Coto De Caza

Before we moved to Coto De Caza, the last Forth of July parade we had was awesome. We got a ribbon for me dressing up as Rambo and wearing a sign on my back that said "Lets get them chicken Shites" regarding the Shi'te in Iran. I had a cork gun rifle that would make loud popping noises. It was rather fun to have people talking about you because they very much approved the message that was my dads.
I couldn't understand why the move to Coto De Caza. I knew I was going to hate the move and while living in a large posh house with lots of room was nice. The isolation I learned was deafening. The kids in the area were very snobby, and my sisters friends tended to be very much so. Becky became more and more twisted, and I learned to stay away from her. My brother not so much, for he would play plastic horses with her and end up with black eyes. I remember spending my time mucking the stalls and pastures, buying transformer toys with them, surrounding myself with a mecho/anime environment to escape the prison of reality. The life mom promises us upon my grandfather passing away, was far from realistic. My parents fought more and more, as the money didn't make any of us happy. To this day my mom still thinks the money makes her happy. But It has caused a rift with everyone. I to this day believe I could have as much money as Bill Gates and it wouldn't change me much. I don't need a limo or a Rolls Royce. Matter of fact the house I'm in is just find, however I do wish we had a bigger driveway only because parking on this street is limited to one side. As far as money I only wish for as much as I'd need to pay off all my debt, the house, the new truck, and what other bills may linger. Nothing I owe is dilinquent and I'm greatful for that. But it seemed like money continualy came into play in Coto. My parents rubbing elbo's with mucky mucks, yuppies, and pretenders. Having us associate with the Macks whom I despised! I learned to just hide in my room, avoiding my parents for shit always ran down hill, and I was always at the end of the ball of crap. Listening to my music which I finally as a late bloomer really took a liking to. I would listen to my music mainly depeche mode, billy Idol, Oingo Boingo, Tears for Fear and anything like that while reading. All I ever seemed to do at the time was read. Surviving middle school was a challenge, as I was pretty much the bottom of the food chain, till I got removed from public school. It was like people were waiting in line to beat me up. I practically ran from class to class, and one time. I ended up pissing all over some bully because he cornered me in the bathroom to beat me up. It was hysterical had you of seen it because I zipped up after pissing all over him. He ran after me just to stop short because when I ran by, everyone turned around to look and see this guy with his pants soaked with my piss. They thought he pissed his pants!
After one fight I wasn't able to run from, I got popped in the nose right infront of a teacher or some authoritive adult. The lady must of been out of her mind, trying to get us to quit it when I showed her I had a bloody nose. Instead of him getting in trouble by himself, I had to serve some kind of detention to, and my father wasn't having it. They were going to have me go to a private school. This wasn't necessarily keeping me from bullies though. It minimized it for sure. And the bullies here were pretty much the rulers of the bus. They listened to what they wanted, and them and the bus driver kind of had an unspoken agreement. The bus driver was Jewish, and he and his wife ran the school. Their son went to school with us one year. But we all hated the wife. I didn't know much about Jewish people, but she kind of made us dislike them. When it came to issues of fighting. It didn't matter what the facts were. Charlene made up her own mind, and generally she sided with the person who'm she either spoke with first, who'm she liked better, or who was Jewish. We discovered the teachers made better principles than this principle. One thing that saved me a lot of grief was my brother Darrens taste in music. All of a sudden I was cool with the guys on the bus just because the only music I listened to that didn't suck was Nazereth. Heck I had Blondie which was ok, but Shanana, pac man fever, Donna Summers. Anyways Andie kept the other big kids from messing with me. He took me under his wing, but it was sad when he wasn't there anymore. His mom put him in rehab for smoking marijuana. So the next year was tough. From then on Jan Snook was responsible for driving us to school. She was able to afford taking David to school there by being the bus driver, well. Her small blue car that was packed with herself, David, Preston, my brother John, and myself. If it was just David and I that would of been cool. David is my best friend, and he's black adopted by white Christian parents. David would listen to his music, sit in the front seat and mind his own business. But he had a anger problem, you didn't want to piss David off. He once popped my brother in the mouth because John pushed his buttons and I couldn't blame him. I think what happened is something made my brother scream, and David felt that blood curdling scream my brother does so well rattle in his ear drum. It was like it was right in his ear, and all of ours as well. David pulled his punch because he tried to resist doing it to begin with. I can't blame David too much because there was many times I wanted to murder my brother. He was slow, and John had the rainman kind of reaction to somethings. If his mind contrued he was being threatened, he would either scream, run away, or fart like a skunk! And when he wasn't doing that he was either running his mouth babbling, or puking! And being in a tiny car like that with John and whom we called puking Preston was a nightmare. They often got car sick, and it was as if they could puke on call!
I have to say going to school with David was the only thing that kept me from taking my own life. David and I were always busting up, capping on people. We just had a lot in common. We've been friends for over 20 years now.
After middle school, 9th grade was a breeze. The 9th grade was the highest grade at this school and everyone there was really nice and cool. The only grief I was given was a little ribbing by John, I don't remember his name. But he was a big guy, and a real dork. We all knew he could kick any of our asses so we just took his awnryness with a grain of salt. But he'd do the same shit like taking my deodarant out of my desk and rub it all over the desks. The teacher Mr. Gay never seemed to see anything except to question what I was doing when I was trying to get my deodarant back from John. The carpool thing sucked because Shawn Mack and his sister Jamie was with us. They were both brats and I despised them both. Shawn always running his mouth how cool he was, when his parents were wanna be yuppies. His parents both worked at the Trabuco Oaks steakhouse and they thought they were gonna be the shit when they inherited it. Turns out who's ever mother it was sold it. Mr Mack ended up working at a junk yard using a bulldozer, and he'd take trash home when he figured it still worked. I was ok with people at this school, but the only friend I made there with lasting ties was with Jason McInturf.
After this school year, my parents sent me to Monte Vista Christian Boarding School.
I'll cover this part later.

Life is great in Fortville

Lately I've been very busy. Always something to fix around here, and stuff that needs to be build.
I am hoping to get my dad here to visit this summer. I haven't seen him in over 13 years! And I'd love for him to meet my wife, step-daughter, and see my house. I miss him very much and would love for him to think about relocating up here and maybe even staying in the blue room. I think about dad all the time on the awesome summer days we are having here, cause the back room, and the patio, and backyard are just a tremendous joy. And I think about him reading the paper back there, doing his crosswords. Cooking out on the fire pit with us, the way only he can grill steaks.
The past 10 years have been so hard, as if I just drifted the entire time with no foundation to stand on. Knowing my family is scattered all over the states. And here I have a foundation, and would love to reconcile with everyone. I know my mom is bad for me. While having money to throw around and buy peoples love. She cannot buy my love and slap me in the face with the other hand anymore with her hypocrisy, and control issues. A true friend and family member will tell you, you are wrong. My mother is wrong, and just wants to surround herself with yes men. Telling me I'm wrong just because she wants to conveniently misconstrue things, or because it is not the way she would do it, or more precisely not what she wants me to do is just wrong. There is nothing about my lifestle that is wrong per-say evil, politically incorrect, hurting anyone. Just that I do what I feel is right. And it's the path that led me here and got the things I am entitled to, that I would not of gotten had I just shut my mouth, and stopped being curious if I'm just being stepped on. It's because of the way I grew up, I learned that I was always wrong because when you teach a child to not question authority. You are teaching them to be vulnerable to people who would take advantage of you. And that is what my mother has done to me time and time again. Taking me in as if to give me another chance when circumstances were not my fault to begin with. Then to cast me out without good justification. I was cast out because I requested a copy of the trust fund documents. Wondering why the promises made were not being fulfilled as of 8 years of this day when they should have been.

So back to Fortville. We had some stressful times with my stepdaughter Maggie. We had her on a point system so she could earn things she enjoyed, but it wasn't working this school year. Apparently she had to lose all of her priveledges to be able to appreciate them. And things just got tougher and tougher. She was no longer able to play outside with her friends, watch tv, play video games. Her grades got so bad, that all she was allowed to do was study, do homework, and chores. The attitude got bad, and she was doing sneaky things. Stealing candy, and foods she wasn't allowed to eat, because some things were a priveledge, and girls on restriction in my house have to eat healthy food. And we only did this because she was very resistant to the rules of being on restriction. Anyways after multiple bad report cards, attitude, being sneaky, doing poorly on chores and the whole lot. We got her on the point system again, diagnosed for ADD as we suspected, and things are looking up. It's weird we tried giving her incentive before, but it just seems like one of those things. You have to lose things to be able to appreciate them. Chores are being done perfectly! Attitude is at a minimum, and everyone is happy.

Also I want to say in regards to politics. The fanaticism I'm seeing scares me. Things are not always the way it seems. It's easy for a republican to label things, when they are not really that way. Flip flopper, communist, faggot, are easy juvenile labels to call a democrat, or liberal. Why don't we just say what things really are, instead of the paranoid labels. Obama is just a man! He's not a manifistation of the anti-Christ. If you don't like the idea of a democrat in office, then just say that. If you don't like a black man in office just say it! But all this other bullshit is a load of crap. He hasn't been in office very long and his way to get us out of this devastating recession might work. Bush wasn't able to stop us from getting into it worse, or keep it from happening. And there is hope that we just might get out of this in the near future, hopefully early next year or sooner. At least Obama hasn't got us into a quagmire, or barfed on a important foreign official!