My new life

I've been married to Sherry over a year now.

Sherry Daniel Nancy Ann Evans lived in  St. Petersburg Florida. She is Michael Wenglands cousin who I met through William Woehr. We met on a D&D group on yahoo about gaming online over the internet in which I started running a group for them. It lasted a few years and we had a great time. We had multiple groups going on some of us running multiple games. Eventually people stopped posting, and games fell through. Michael also had his solo quester. He made his own solo games and he would have us test them. We also had a lot of games going on, on rpgbomb.com. However the site crashed and lost all it's data. So the gaming really took a crap from there.
 Anyways Sherry posted stuff on Michael's Facebook threads. And from there we got friendly on the internet. We eventually started messaging on there and from there onto the phone. We talked every day for  a few months. Sherry eventually got on the bus and came to see me. And we spent every day with each other since then. Only time we haven't been together is when she went back home to visit. That was hard but for her to see her mother deteriorating. Her brother has been living with his mom and making her life hell. And her mom having bladder infections, and just poor health in general. Sherry has come to terms that here is her home and that this is where she belongs. However we've had some bumps.
  When I was with my ex wife, we would got months without sex. About once every other month until I got to the point where I turned that down because I was better off going without. It wasn't good sex, it wasn't intimate sex, and Monique got bigger, fatter, and she stank! She wasn't like that to begin with. But she got huge! Fast! Like sharks fighting in her pants! And apparently that's the reason she gave me for the lack of desire. She got fat, didn't feel good, And sex was uncomfortable. So I masturbated a lot and looked at porn. Monique was mad, at times. Then at times she didn't care. However I got the impression that Monique was using her huge pink dildo and the shower heads often. And that she desired women a lot more than men. She wasn't lifting a finger around the house, she wasn't doing anything for me and that included cooking. She wasn't paying her share of the bills. She really did nothing but be consistently mean. Her child was a terror! They were constantly compromising the safety of the house. And cost me so much money that I'm still struggling years later. The sewage pipes had to be fixed because of tampons! over 1800.00 and recently I had to rent a sewer snake for 58.00. I got screwed on the vehicle situation, food, just about everything. And she pretty much took what she wanted when she left. Never mind she failed to inform me she was bipolar when we got married. Or that she likes to get fisted!
  That was about three years ago. Today Sherry and I are doing great. But the bumps we had! Sherry gets angry but is doing much better. She's still a very insecure person. We've struggled with money and hopefully we are getting somewhere. I worked two jobs last year for a period of time. Sherry was working two jobs up till recently. Unfortunately Sallie Mae's testing is screwed up. Sherry was passed, then failed, and lost her job. Fortunately she still had the other job to fall back on. Her and I both work for the same company, just different locations. Anyways, last year because she was mad that I masturbated and looked at porn on the internet. Sherry took liberties and spent money that we didn't have nor did it belong to her. I forgave her for it, but it took a long while for me to find out. I found a receipt in her desk. And it was in very good condition as if brand new. It was a receipt from a purchase she made that was reported fraudulent. In other words from my credit card! And she had spent over 700.00 on three of my credit cards. I fortunately didn't have to pay any of it, and it went away. But I will never forget that she did it, or that she had lied about it even when I had confronted her about the evidence I had acquired pointing directly at her. And I will never forget how it made me feel like she think's I'm stupid in that she kept denying responsibility for it. Or that we basically blamed it on the kid across the street.
  So that is all done with, but not completely forgotten. We are still doing great, and in love still. Sherry has learned a lot from me and the relationship. There hasn't been any cheating or desire to do so. Even though when I was married to my first wife. I wanted to chat all the time. After all, we didn't have sex, she was mean, and went back on everything she promised. My life with Sherry is great! I love her, and we fit. We are making it work and it is working. I have no doubt her and I are forever. My first wife I was in doubt from as soon as it started.
  But what is weird is the internet activity taking place lately. I think someone is trying to sabotage my marriage by creating dating profiles that I had nothing to do with. Sherry isn't fooled, because I tell her about these things the second I become aware of them. And who ever is pulling these stunts will get caught.
  Just this morning I was awoken by a text message. Apparently someone used my phone number to set up a dating account I didn't set up. And they were trying to access this account I had no knowledge of. I told Sherry about it right away, and I went about emailing the site to delete this account.

We will see what happens.

The here and now

Recently I added my cousins and my uncle on facebook. I have always wanted to keep in touch, but the emails from my uncle Ronnie were driving me nuts. I don't like politically off color jokes. Regarding black people and politics. And then I started getting the same emails from my 1/2 brother Bryon. So now I'm in touch with my relatives and I was able to block the emails. It was always a bunch of fw: spam crap anyhow.

So anyways today I'm really upset. I'm currently out of work but I have something coming up to look forward to. I'm not starting right away and it's not a dream job to everyone. But it's going to be steady work. Why not the economy sucks right now! I'll be outside listening to my ipod, picking up dog poop. No one breathing down my back, no stress. Just stinky poop! Now I understand my wife has had to go to work. Hell I can't even afford her! She can't afford herself! Fact of the matter she put me in a lot of debt. She flipped her car, she had medical emergencies, and her bills for being bipolar are stressful. And I understand regardless it's frustrating for her to see I'm always home lately. I lost a assignment last month and it wasn't my fault. The woman who trained me really liked me, we got along great. I did everything she asked me. But the moment she was on vacation, someone didn't like me. And I got canned. So Monique comes home from work and I'm always here right now. I've redone the office completely. I'm fixing things around the house trying to get it organized and up to snuff. It's been disorganized, and there are places we could use more cabinet space, more furniture to make things more functional.

So I am sensitive to what she is going through. But it's just not enough! It's like she's always pressuring me to get a job a place she even hates. Wal-Mart! Now I'm not a people person, which is why I like working behind a computer. Data-entry, leave me alone to work and I'm happy! Monique loves working with cake but hates the people she works with and she hates customers. I'd love it if she got a office job. Came home from work in a skirt and all. I'd be all over that. But such is life right?
Well she seems like she hates everything about me lately. Doesn't matter how much around the house I get done. Or that I've been looking for work. Or the fact that I have a job coming up to look forward to. And I'm bitter about that because my honey do list is always completed. Her's never is. I've been waiting for her to repair the laundry basket that Maggie handled improperly for about a year and 1/2. There's other things on that list to that have been neglected for a long time. Often when she gets home, her give a damn is busted. Yeah she worked, she's tired but she doesn't want to lift a finger to do anything. And she's always been really lazy when it comes to disciplining Maggie. I'm always having the conversations and being the asshole. Also Monique has Maggie running around with her head cut off, because Maggie is trying to do her chores, and Monique always needs Maggie to fetch something for her. Fetch me a drink, a plate, a fork, something to eat. Now when I do the same thing it's to help me get a tool doing something constructive. Hey it happens! But I'm not about to have Maggie fetch me a soda when I can get up and do it myself.

So, after Monique and I got married, she told me months afterwards that she's bipolar. I've always been bitter about that because she should of told me before we got married. And there is a very good chance that I may not of believed her and still had married her. But honestly if I knew what I knew when she was flipping out, and being a horrible ungrateful wife to me. I wouldn't have married her. There's been times I was glad I persevered and dealt with it to get to this point. However today I'm angry and I don't know if I would have married her. When I asked her if she felt bad for not telling me, she said no. However 10 minutes later she did say she did feel bad. But I'm not sure if I believe her because yes 10 minutes later it was the right answer. But did she only say that because she knew it made me justifiably angry?

Monte Vista

As a sophmore in high-school, this was my best year at that time. I made friends and I no longer felt like I was at the bottom of the food chain. I didn't carry a lot of self doubt and loathing. I just seemed to of found so many flaws with others, and found a part of myself that has escalated into a kind of conspiracy theory person, due to the things I found wrong with other people.
I discovered that as much as I liked drama class and acting. The teachers always favored the seniors which I found disappointing and felt it was rather discriminatory. I discovered that not only were teachers often ignorant, not infallible and jumped to conclusions. But they were often dishonest, and deeply flawed. I was walking down a road where I was turning into a bad person, tired of being victimized and wanted to be immune to it. I felt the only way I could be able to be on top was to be the person victimizing instead. Take what I want, do what I want, and to hell with everyone else. Now I had a code not to victimize people I cared about. If I'm important to you, then you are important to me. To everything else, the devil may care! I was like James Dean! I'm not proud of a lot of things I did during this period of time, and afterwards. The reason I did a lot of things is because being put in this school wasn't really the contributing factor. But the things that happened within it, and hugely the fact that my relatives were not in contact with me at all. When I'd call my mother, she treated me like I was bothering her, and like I was being a baby. The honest truth is I can't remember anyone calling me, writing me. And I looked forward to any excuse to be able to call. But I learned to stop calling because I'd just be confronted with my mother treating me like an unwanted redhaired stepchild.
My best friend at the time June seemed to of really understood what I was going through. She always saw the good in me, and felt confident I accepted Jesus into my heart. I may have, but I didn't accept organized religion from what I saw happening around me. Black kids were getting kicked out of the school for things they didn't do, and it was a true conspiracy. Everyone loved the black kid who had been there the previous year. Good kid! And he was gung ho for Jesus, and the school. We all knew he wasn't a theif. Turns out June's dad wasn't just a dishwasher trying to put his kid through school. They were dirty poor for sure, I mean you should of seen there car! That little piece of crap malformed car was probably a treasure to them too! June's clothes she wore to school did not help her much. She was shunned and picked on because she was Goony Gile! Ugly, not popular, and poor! Kids that went to this school generally had money. Anyways, June's dad was working there as he was getting paid by Pinkerton's on top of it, to find out what was really going on. Turns out this private school had it's own agenda's. Teachers were giving bad grades to kids who were A -B students because they wanted to kick them out so they could rake in more money by replacing them. Dorm kids were being set up with crimes they didn't commit because their money was not refundeable, and new residents was pure profit. And most of these kids were the black kids because some of these untoucheable staff and faculty were biggots. My grades weren't messed with, accept by Dunlap. The bugeyed troll who screwed with my dissection of the frog. She removed it's heart to bring my grade down, and it was in there when I turned it in. Two teachers in that school got fired for standing up against the injustice being commited there. Rosa and McCandles. They actually picketed, the year after I was there. Students were so angry they were seriously contemplating burning the dorms and school down. A staff brat as we called them was unable to live on campus with her parents because she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock, and even after giving up her child for abortion and repenting. She still was not allowed to live with her parents on the property.
So then June's dad Don who was working for Pinkertons busted the case wide open and a lot of people lost their jobs. The conspiracy was ended, and the story hit the news paper. It was a big thing there in Watsonville. I also heard that there was a teacher in the Jr. High that was having a relationship with one of his students. I wasn't there but I heard that the teacher and the student were no longer there anymore. That they must of gotten caught, and no one knew what happened to the teacher, and the girl simply just didn't go to school there anymore. My big dissapointment was that one of the Jr. High teachers son who attended there stole my skateboard and put my trucks on his board. I found his board and kept it. I sanded the paint off it and redid the whole thing. It was now my board, until it was confiscated from me. Apparently the kid that stole my board reported his missing. My friends stood up for me and told the Dean that those were my wheels and trucks on the board. But because of who the theifs father was. I was told to shut up about it. If I didn't give up the board, I was going to get expelled, and it was almost the end of the school year. At that moment I seriously hated that dean, and the injustice of everything. I really didn't give a crap about school at that time, and I would of told the dean to fuck himself had I not been afraid of what my parents would do.
Before leaving the school, June and I vowed to always keep in touch. We had a funny experience when I told her right before we went to club Jesus that I had a crush on Thea. June's reply was that she had a crush on me. June was a very special person to me, but we were so different. She was ugly, I was handsome and full of myself. I came from a wealthy family, and she came from the dirt poor. I loved June like a sister, but I was never going to love her like anything else. I went through periods where I thought to myself what I'd do for a love like hers. That if I wasn't so shallow. But I don't think like that anymore. Her and I are very different and we would of never of worked out. I was grateful for her friendship.
Around the middle of June, June invited me to Yvonne's where they were celebrating their mutual birthday. Yvonne's being June 7 or 8, I don't recall. June's was the 9th and mine the 11th. How funny! Three gemini's. June was there with Bill, who'm she wanted to make me jealous. Bill was a good looking guy and I couldn't believe she was trying to make me jealous. Yvonne liked Bill and wanted him to be jealous. And Yvonne was dancing with me. She was very cute at that time, before she started putting on the weight that just wouldn't stop. So we were dancing and it might as well been the first time I ever danced with a girl before. Yvonne had a nice body, and she was well developed. She had a baby making figure if you know what I mean, and I had an erection that wouldn't stop. I was feeling light headed, and hungry like a starved vampire. Fortunately nothing happened though our minds both went there. I kept in contact with Yvonne for years afterwards. I have to say the future infront of us was not very kind, and was very regretful. As June and Yvonne both turned out to be people I kind of wished I never had met. But I have to wonder what would of happened to me had I not met them, or had anything to do with in the future. I probably would of never had moved to Watsonville, San Jose, and San Francisco.
People who I remember well from school that year was Osamu Shigimoto my first roomate. Osamu pulled some stunt where he put his weiner in a finess bottle and ran around the dorm naked. Unfortunately for Osamu the whole school found out about him and his tiny pecker that was small enough to fit in there. When ever he had a crush on a white girl there. The response wasn't very flattering at all due to that stunt. Osamu didn't have much of a sense of humor and didn't take kindly to me ribbing him so we made very bad roomates and he had a grudge against me from then on. Nate Moore was a good friend to me, always sarcastic but a good friend. Nate Kaupua we all felt bad for. The head dean was bangin his mom, and Nate was always in trouble for doing something stupid. He shoplifted and got caught more than a couple of times. Matter of fact we all went shoplifting when we were away from the school. Kaupua was stupid about it though, he was dropping candy as he was shoving gummi worms in his mouth and was just a fuckin retard about it. We didn't shoplift around him because we knew he would get caught and we didn't want to get taken down with him. I mean we could of all been stupid, but a retard could tell he was going to get caught and we'd be guilty from association. Nate was always working off that at school too. The dean would pull his ass out of the fire and put him to work. It was a blessing it really was. But we still felt bad for him. He was likeable, but dumb as rocks. The girls adored him, he was charming. But stupid! Scott Gillespie everyone knew him. He dressed like a preppie, but listened to all the music that was contraband. Scott was loved by everyone but he really broke the rules and he could get away with them because he had the perfect reputation. As the big brother, talking to people straightening them out. And everything about Scott being so perfect yet able to get away with murder began to make me dislike him. Scott wasn't perfect, he treated women like meat, he was a wolf in sheeps clothing. Hypocritical of me I suppose because I was a wolf, just not much good at wearing the sheeps clothing. We all remember Heindrix who died in a car crash a few years later. He was always talking about the Heindrix manuever while pretending to hump someone's leg. Dork! Nate Blakemoore, the slow guy from Arizona. Always talking about drugs and being a tough guy. We picked on him a lot and he always seemed to deserve it. He was a nice guy and we picked on him too much, but I guess a lot of people thought it was for his own good. He was certainly one to feel pitty for.
I realize writting this I sound like a cold shallow fucked up person. I'm just stating the feelings I had at the time. I know very well I did some messed up things and I wasn't a very good person. We all knew Tiffany Kenko, the school slut. Tiffany was cute, a little chubby but smart, flirtatious and always had that look on her face that she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and enjoy every moment of it. I tried to resist her due to her reputation, but her friends kept pressuring me. We had one kiss and it was fatal. My first kiss and I must of sucked because she dumped me like a hat. She told me that she'd get in trouble for having a boyfriend. Her brother Thad was going to gnark her out. It was bullshit. Nate Moore went out with her next, and they stayed together the whole school year. Probably because Nate had more experience than I did. But I guess it was for the best. She was a heartless little wench. What I understood was Tiffany would go after a guy just because a friend of hers liked him. She would ruin it for them.
I ended up going out with Kelly. Kelly was a kind of a dork, cause after we made a commitment to go steady, she started dancing like she was Julia Andrews in "The sound of music". I regreted not keeping in touch with her. But I felt that was the way things worked. You go out with someone, you go to a different school, move away. But I was friends with June and kept in contact but not Kelly. Well she found me on the internet earlier this year, and we are good friends. At the time I went out with Kelly for the wrong reasons and none of the right ones. She was nice, cool, she was cute even though she was heavy. But to me she was the only person who would be interested in me because kissing Tiffany Kenko was my death warrant. Kelly has always been wicked smart, and she's got a sexy personality. Her weight has kept her from being the girl every guy wants. Or at least doesn't know it yet.
So I broke up with Kelly because the year was almost up, and I broke her heart. And I was sad and choked up about it. Wondering what I was doing, and having some kind of stupid martyr complex about it because I thought it would be easier then than later.
And on the last day, I was sitting out front waiting for mom to get their. She picked me up in the motor home. We drove back to southern california from there. Stopping in San Jose to go to the Winchester mystery house. We watched part of a movie at the theatre, and it wasn't a very good movie for us kids. We left at the part of the movie where Jack Nicholson's homeless girlfriend had to give a guy a hand job to stay in the car to be warm and not outside.
I think it was called Iron Weeds.
Anyways we return home and I learn my parents are getting a divorce.

Coto De Caza

Before we moved to Coto De Caza, the last Forth of July parade we had was awesome. We got a ribbon for me dressing up as Rambo and wearing a sign on my back that said "Lets get them chicken Shites" regarding the Shi'te in Iran. I had a cork gun rifle that would make loud popping noises. It was rather fun to have people talking about you because they very much approved the message that was my dads.
I couldn't understand why the move to Coto De Caza. I knew I was going to hate the move and while living in a large posh house with lots of room was nice. The isolation I learned was deafening. The kids in the area were very snobby, and my sisters friends tended to be very much so. Becky became more and more twisted, and I learned to stay away from her. My brother not so much, for he would play plastic horses with her and end up with black eyes. I remember spending my time mucking the stalls and pastures, buying transformer toys with them, surrounding myself with a mecho/anime environment to escape the prison of reality. The life mom promises us upon my grandfather passing away, was far from realistic. My parents fought more and more, as the money didn't make any of us happy. To this day my mom still thinks the money makes her happy. But It has caused a rift with everyone. I to this day believe I could have as much money as Bill Gates and it wouldn't change me much. I don't need a limo or a Rolls Royce. Matter of fact the house I'm in is just find, however I do wish we had a bigger driveway only because parking on this street is limited to one side. As far as money I only wish for as much as I'd need to pay off all my debt, the house, the new truck, and what other bills may linger. Nothing I owe is dilinquent and I'm greatful for that. But it seemed like money continualy came into play in Coto. My parents rubbing elbo's with mucky mucks, yuppies, and pretenders. Having us associate with the Macks whom I despised! I learned to just hide in my room, avoiding my parents for shit always ran down hill, and I was always at the end of the ball of crap. Listening to my music which I finally as a late bloomer really took a liking to. I would listen to my music mainly depeche mode, billy Idol, Oingo Boingo, Tears for Fear and anything like that while reading. All I ever seemed to do at the time was read. Surviving middle school was a challenge, as I was pretty much the bottom of the food chain, till I got removed from public school. It was like people were waiting in line to beat me up. I practically ran from class to class, and one time. I ended up pissing all over some bully because he cornered me in the bathroom to beat me up. It was hysterical had you of seen it because I zipped up after pissing all over him. He ran after me just to stop short because when I ran by, everyone turned around to look and see this guy with his pants soaked with my piss. They thought he pissed his pants!
After one fight I wasn't able to run from, I got popped in the nose right infront of a teacher or some authoritive adult. The lady must of been out of her mind, trying to get us to quit it when I showed her I had a bloody nose. Instead of him getting in trouble by himself, I had to serve some kind of detention to, and my father wasn't having it. They were going to have me go to a private school. This wasn't necessarily keeping me from bullies though. It minimized it for sure. And the bullies here were pretty much the rulers of the bus. They listened to what they wanted, and them and the bus driver kind of had an unspoken agreement. The bus driver was Jewish, and he and his wife ran the school. Their son went to school with us one year. But we all hated the wife. I didn't know much about Jewish people, but she kind of made us dislike them. When it came to issues of fighting. It didn't matter what the facts were. Charlene made up her own mind, and generally she sided with the person who'm she either spoke with first, who'm she liked better, or who was Jewish. We discovered the teachers made better principles than this principle. One thing that saved me a lot of grief was my brother Darrens taste in music. All of a sudden I was cool with the guys on the bus just because the only music I listened to that didn't suck was Nazereth. Heck I had Blondie which was ok, but Shanana, pac man fever, Donna Summers. Anyways Andie kept the other big kids from messing with me. He took me under his wing, but it was sad when he wasn't there anymore. His mom put him in rehab for smoking marijuana. So the next year was tough. From then on Jan Snook was responsible for driving us to school. She was able to afford taking David to school there by being the bus driver, well. Her small blue car that was packed with herself, David, Preston, my brother John, and myself. If it was just David and I that would of been cool. David is my best friend, and he's black adopted by white Christian parents. David would listen to his music, sit in the front seat and mind his own business. But he had a anger problem, you didn't want to piss David off. He once popped my brother in the mouth because John pushed his buttons and I couldn't blame him. I think what happened is something made my brother scream, and David felt that blood curdling scream my brother does so well rattle in his ear drum. It was like it was right in his ear, and all of ours as well. David pulled his punch because he tried to resist doing it to begin with. I can't blame David too much because there was many times I wanted to murder my brother. He was slow, and John had the rainman kind of reaction to somethings. If his mind contrued he was being threatened, he would either scream, run away, or fart like a skunk! And when he wasn't doing that he was either running his mouth babbling, or puking! And being in a tiny car like that with John and whom we called puking Preston was a nightmare. They often got car sick, and it was as if they could puke on call!
I have to say going to school with David was the only thing that kept me from taking my own life. David and I were always busting up, capping on people. We just had a lot in common. We've been friends for over 20 years now.
After middle school, 9th grade was a breeze. The 9th grade was the highest grade at this school and everyone there was really nice and cool. The only grief I was given was a little ribbing by John, I don't remember his name. But he was a big guy, and a real dork. We all knew he could kick any of our asses so we just took his awnryness with a grain of salt. But he'd do the same shit like taking my deodarant out of my desk and rub it all over the desks. The teacher Mr. Gay never seemed to see anything except to question what I was doing when I was trying to get my deodarant back from John. The carpool thing sucked because Shawn Mack and his sister Jamie was with us. They were both brats and I despised them both. Shawn always running his mouth how cool he was, when his parents were wanna be yuppies. His parents both worked at the Trabuco Oaks steakhouse and they thought they were gonna be the shit when they inherited it. Turns out who's ever mother it was sold it. Mr Mack ended up working at a junk yard using a bulldozer, and he'd take trash home when he figured it still worked. I was ok with people at this school, but the only friend I made there with lasting ties was with Jason McInturf.
After this school year, my parents sent me to Monte Vista Christian Boarding School.
I'll cover this part later.

Life is great in Fortville

Lately I've been very busy. Always something to fix around here, and stuff that needs to be build.
I am hoping to get my dad here to visit this summer. I haven't seen him in over 13 years! And I'd love for him to meet my wife, step-daughter, and see my house. I miss him very much and would love for him to think about relocating up here and maybe even staying in the blue room. I think about dad all the time on the awesome summer days we are having here, cause the back room, and the patio, and backyard are just a tremendous joy. And I think about him reading the paper back there, doing his crosswords. Cooking out on the fire pit with us, the way only he can grill steaks.
The past 10 years have been so hard, as if I just drifted the entire time with no foundation to stand on. Knowing my family is scattered all over the states. And here I have a foundation, and would love to reconcile with everyone. I know my mom is bad for me. While having money to throw around and buy peoples love. She cannot buy my love and slap me in the face with the other hand anymore with her hypocrisy, and control issues. A true friend and family member will tell you, you are wrong. My mother is wrong, and just wants to surround herself with yes men. Telling me I'm wrong just because she wants to conveniently misconstrue things, or because it is not the way she would do it, or more precisely not what she wants me to do is just wrong. There is nothing about my lifestle that is wrong per-say evil, politically incorrect, hurting anyone. Just that I do what I feel is right. And it's the path that led me here and got the things I am entitled to, that I would not of gotten had I just shut my mouth, and stopped being curious if I'm just being stepped on. It's because of the way I grew up, I learned that I was always wrong because when you teach a child to not question authority. You are teaching them to be vulnerable to people who would take advantage of you. And that is what my mother has done to me time and time again. Taking me in as if to give me another chance when circumstances were not my fault to begin with. Then to cast me out without good justification. I was cast out because I requested a copy of the trust fund documents. Wondering why the promises made were not being fulfilled as of 8 years of this day when they should have been.

So back to Fortville. We had some stressful times with my stepdaughter Maggie. We had her on a point system so she could earn things she enjoyed, but it wasn't working this school year. Apparently she had to lose all of her priveledges to be able to appreciate them. And things just got tougher and tougher. She was no longer able to play outside with her friends, watch tv, play video games. Her grades got so bad, that all she was allowed to do was study, do homework, and chores. The attitude got bad, and she was doing sneaky things. Stealing candy, and foods she wasn't allowed to eat, because some things were a priveledge, and girls on restriction in my house have to eat healthy food. And we only did this because she was very resistant to the rules of being on restriction. Anyways after multiple bad report cards, attitude, being sneaky, doing poorly on chores and the whole lot. We got her on the point system again, diagnosed for ADD as we suspected, and things are looking up. It's weird we tried giving her incentive before, but it just seems like one of those things. You have to lose things to be able to appreciate them. Chores are being done perfectly! Attitude is at a minimum, and everyone is happy.

Also I want to say in regards to politics. The fanaticism I'm seeing scares me. Things are not always the way it seems. It's easy for a republican to label things, when they are not really that way. Flip flopper, communist, faggot, are easy juvenile labels to call a democrat, or liberal. Why don't we just say what things really are, instead of the paranoid labels. Obama is just a man! He's not a manifistation of the anti-Christ. If you don't like the idea of a democrat in office, then just say that. If you don't like a black man in office just say it! But all this other bullshit is a load of crap. He hasn't been in office very long and his way to get us out of this devastating recession might work. Bush wasn't able to stop us from getting into it worse, or keep it from happening. And there is hope that we just might get out of this in the near future, hopefully early next year or sooner. At least Obama hasn't got us into a quagmire, or barfed on a important foreign official!

Trabuco Canyon

So off we went to move to Trabuco Canyon. I was the new kid and starting first grade. First kids I met were Chris Bates, and John Day. Chris Bates was always a big braggart. He was so competitive that it was really hard to like him. He always had to use big words, brag about how many stars he had in class than you. And he was there longer so yeah he should have more stars. He always thought it made him so much cooler to make fun of others using words he thought were the most appropriate. Like buffoon! I think Chris was either in the next grade up or he skipped a grade. Sure he was smart, but he was a smart ass and could never keep his mouth shut. I never tried to compete with anyone. But I was jealous of John Day. Good looking kid and popular. Everyone like him, and occasionaly he'd get full of himself. But he was a good kid. John and I ended up getting into a fight, I don't remember why. I just wanted to be top dog a little bit. I got exausted during the fight and couldn't continue. So I was humiliated. Everyone thought it was a good fight, and I realized there was no real animosity in it. We were just fighting and John and I became friends. John lived just up the hill from me and right next to Chris Bates. It seemed like everyone competed to hang out with John. Chris always trying to convince John he was cooler and more fun to hang out with. John excepted me for who I was but wasn't always immune to Chris's influence. John had learning issues like me, and his self esteem seemed always in a deficit. I think he competed to be his big brother far too much. And his brother Brian was so involved in his own life that he didn't care that John in a discreet way envied his brother a lot and wanted to win his brothers respect, and his fathers. John went to a different school halfway to 6th grade, probably in 3rd or 4th grade. We enjoyed hanging out with John after school.
I had a crush on Chris's sister Lisa. I had crushes on other girls too, but Lisa was the only girl that gave me a chance. It got weird of course. She was the girl up the street and her parents and my parents did not get along. Her mom Thelma, who went by Ziggy, seemed out of her mind to me. This fued with her parents and mine started cause they had this rotweiler named Duke. He would run around wild with his canine friend Cozmo. They went around killing cats, and getting in fights with other dogs. Our dog pal wouldn't hurt a soul. But Duke came on him and dragged him into the bushes. It scared us to death, and my parents dragged us away before we could see what happened. We put up a chain link fence around the entire yard right away after that. And they kept letting their dog run around loose. The Bates insisted their dog was wonderful and not a mean or dangerous dog. However one day John and I were playing cars and we turned around to see Duke, walking away from Kip's dead kitten he just laid behind us. There were no other dogs that did this. Yes we didn't see the kitten drop from his mouth or him kill the kitten. John and I knew though. And Ziggy snapped at us when we told her. She looked hysterical and like she was keeping tears at bay and hating us for dropping this bomb on her. All we thought about was "poor kip" he loved that kitten.
Kip took it really hard when his dog was put to sleep. One day my sister Becky and I were climbing up the hill infront of our house to walk around. Becky got pooped less than half way up. I went ahead to motivate her, only to turn around to see Cozmo chewing on my sisters face. My sister was crying "Cozmo no" and my sister face was just covered with blood. I felt guilty about what happened and secretely took the blame. However as scared as I was that the dog may attack me too after what looked like him ripping my sisters face off. I chase him away and carried my sister to the house so my dad could rush her to the hospital. Becky was fine but had to have like 25 stiches on her face. To an extent I was a hero chasing the dog away and carrying her to the house so she would be ok. But I always took the blame, even though I had no idea Cozmo was going to start eating my sisters face. I had always wanted to protect my sister just like any big brother. Anyways Cozmo had to be put to sleep and Kip didn't handle that well at all. I was told that he wrote stories demonizing my sister. That they went something like her teasing or hitting Cozmo causing him to attack her. It was silly, but it scared me. Kip was a nice kid, but he carried a grudge, for us being the cause of his dog being put to sleep.
Trabuco elementary wasn't a very good school in my opinion. The 5th and 6th grade teachers in my opinion sucked, even though I didn't have either of them for teachers. The new teacher/principal was cool though. But my grades suffered because the teachers really didn't give a damn. And I was a slacker too. I read comics within my math book, I'd stare at the book not doing a damn thing. They didn't collect home work, or anything. I just sat there.
One day I got bored and thought maybe doing the math would be fun. I wanted to learn, and by then I was really far behind. The kids were learning division and I didn't even know my multiplication for beans. I ended up struggling through 5th grade and started being tutored by David Kroopniks mom. I'm not sure that's how you spell their last name. But David was a big blonde guy who rode and jumped horses. He was really good at it. He took lots of lessons with my sister and mom back in the day. And he rode our horses often. So, during 6th grade I ended up going to another school or risk flunking. I was really glad for this because I didn't like the 6th grade teacher at Trabuco at all. I had trouble with that teacher one day, when Jerid Thompson who we called Jerid Jar head, kicked a rock at me. I kicked a rock back at him cause I was mad, that sucker hit me in the ankle. Well my rock hit another rock on the pavement and went airborn and smacked into the 6th grade teachers back of their classroom wall. And not listening to a work I said. That fucker made me spend my lunch and recesses in the library.
I was the bottom of the food chain at school cause I was hyper and I didn't care what anyone thought. My dad was a drunk whom everyone thought was the coolest dad. And he always had his foot up my ass when no one was looking. He was mean and he would scare the shit out of us.
So during school when he wasn't around. I was off the hook acting like an idiot. When Joey started at our school he was the biggest idiot around. Everyone hated his stupid mouth. And I was relieved that I wasn't the bottom of the food chain anymore. Heck Micheal Supino was the bottom of the food chain too. He did some crazy shit. Like hitting Terri in the mouth because she cried when the softball hit her head. He walked right up and punched her in the face like it was cool. We were looking at him like he was out of his mind. Then one day he challenged me to a fight, and I had no idea why. I think it was because I was given money on the day we were going as a class to knott's berry farm. To learn about the old west and stuff. Well I thought we were going to go on rides and stuff. I didn't have a chance to spend the 5 bucks that was burning a hole through my pocket. So stupid me figured I'd buy Mikes hotwheel cars or risk having to give the 5 bucks back. I should of bought candy at the general store instead. Then I was asked later and I spilled my beans. I spent the 5 bucks on those stupid used hot wheels cars. Mom told me she'd get the 5 bucks back. Well she did, but I never saw it. And Mike apparently was mad and I had to fight him. So after school the big kids escorted us to the parking lot of the Trabuco Oaks Steak House so we could fight. They wanted to make sure no one chickened out. I felt like I didn't have a choice in the matter. And I didn't know why Mike wanted to fight me. We used to be friends now he hated my guts. And there he was moving his hands round and round like he thought he was the pistons of a car engine. Moving them round and round like some hyper active retard. I swung out and nailed him right in the nose blooding it. Fight over! I felt robbed!
There he was being escorted home like I was som bully that punched him for nothing. My parents heard about it and they chastised me a little and asked me why I hit poor Michael Supino. They didn't listen to me of course, they really didn't care. They were just going through the motions. Or since I didn't know why he wanted to fight me, they seemed to only hear. I didn't know why.
When I went to the new school I was still having trouble. Learning, and with kids, it just sucked. These were city kids to me and they were a lot meaner. You had to like the right music, say the right things. It was so important to be cool. And if you weren't cool, you had to find someone to kiss ass with so they'd take you under their wing. Every year got worse till I became a freshman in highschool And worst thing about Jr. High is all your old friends got into cliches and they didn't know you anymore. It hurt bad that John Day didn't want to be my friend at the time. It wasn't cool to be friends with me or anyone outside your cliche.

Forgot to add

My parents had horses they had stabled in Santa Ana. This was during the time we lived in Westminster, and I think when we moved to Huntington beach, they sold their horses. I remember they always spoke of one of their horses as "old blue". They loved that horse. And when they'd take me, I somehow always ended up in the ditch to play with the frogs, or tadpoles. And they would have to use a rope to get down there and get me back up. This frustrated them so much. That they started leaving me in the hot car. Once I ran as quick as I could because nothing could stop me from going down there again. My mom cracked a whip, and that sucker went wrapped around my neck. Dad said he could of killed her for being so stupid. However he really wasn't any better for his common sense either. One time while taking care of us and mom was out. My sister Becky decided she was going to walk to her preschool because she missed it. So there she was walking down Brookhurst Street, which was a busy busy road. And my sister was sooo little too! Another funny thing happened, late at night. My sister woke up and decided she was really hungry. She went into the kitchen and spread the fridgerator contents on the floor and started feasting. My dad heard something and down the stairs he went with his shotgun. And of course arriving in the kitchen to discover that pointing a shot gun at his daughter having a midnight snack on the kitchen floor probably wasn't a very good idea.